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Daniela Lopez, 40, weeps as she speaks with the psychologist. She clutches her thighs, then her chair, crying and occasionally looking up at the sky, as if searching for answers.
Lopez lost four sons, aged 9 to 25, her sister, her brother and her mother in the double earthquake that killed more than 3,600 people in Venezuela.
She also lost her home.
Sitting in front of a small tent in a park in Tanaguarena, one of the hardest-hit areas by the disaster, she spoke with Alexander Apostol, a psychologist from the NGO Première Urgence Internationale, which has sent teams into the field to offer free mental health consultations.
Lopez says the session helped.
"What happened is enormous. It's hard to lose everything in a matter of seconds," she said.
"To lose them like that, so easily, so quickly, I don’t know," she said. "I was there too. I couldn’t help them, I couldn’t get them out. It’s not easy."
Her husband, Daniel Rivas Perez, a 30-year-old street vendor, along with neighbors, pulled her from the rubble three hours after the earthquake that struck on June 24.
Seriously injured in her back, Lopez was hospitalized but chose to return to sleep near her family, against the doctors’ advice.
"I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here until the end," she said. "Until they get them (her family members) out of the rubble. I won't leave. I’m going to stay here, waiting.”
Apostol said they provide emotional and psychological support at shelters and wherever survivors need help -- on a bench, sitting on a low wall, or on a chair or stool, always outdoors.
“One gentleman just told me that he was able to talk about certain things with me, things he hasn’t been able to do with other people, because they are going through the same situation," he said.
"Talking about these things gives them the feeling of being listened to."
- 'War Zone' -
Many suffer from post-traumatic effects, Apostal said. They feel as if everything is still shaking around them, they have difficulty sleeping and resting and sometimes they feel guilty for having survived while others have died.
Survivors suffer multiple losses -- grief over the loss of their home, loved ones and pets.
They also tend to repress their emotions, which he said has "many negative effects, not only on the mind but also on the body." Talking about their feelings and experiences is "invaluable for processing this entire complicated situation."
The fear of returning to live in the building where the earthquake occurred is also a recurring theme.
"It's a common post-traumatic effect; it will take a long time for the person to cope," he said. "Like an emotional scar. Your brain remembers it."
Standing outside her building, 62-year-old Raissa Oropeza has all the symptoms described by Apostol.
She says she is afraid to return to her second-floor apartment. She went through the earthquake with her three-year-old grandson. Both escaped physically unharmed, but not psychologically.
Oropeza says she feels "a little relieved" after a session with a psychologist from Première Urgence, who advised her, among other things, to "breathe deeply, calm down, reflect, pray, cry."
"I survived the Vargas landslide," she said, referring to the 1999 disaster in the same area that killed thousands.
“My daughter was killed by someone in a jealous rage. And now I'm experiencing an earthquake. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. What more can I expect from life?"
In Naiguata, a small coastal town famous for its traditional "dancing devils" festival, Cesar Rendon, 49, a former inmate who lived in the town's halfway house, confides that he "unburdened himself" with Apostol.
"It was like a bomb had fallen here, like a war zone. The ground was rippling," he said. "When you breathe, you're already rich, you're already a millionaire; all the wealth is in life. I talked with him, and I was able to unburden myself."
Rendon also showed the psychologist a small cat that was trapped under the rubble which he now cares for. He named her Vida, or "Life" in Spanish.
"It's beautiful, it's like a metaphor," Apostol said. "Despite everything, life goes on, and for him, that's important."
(O.Joost--BBZ)